Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
