her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
