I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
