She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
