This girl is more easily done than said...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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