First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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