it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
