the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
