At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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