Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
