Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
