bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
