I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Randomize
