Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
