She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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