love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
