pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
