the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
