I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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