you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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