69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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