If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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