Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
