My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
