I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
