Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize