My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
