you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
