How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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