im six kinds of drunk right now
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
