Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
