I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
