It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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