I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
