She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
