Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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