I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
