Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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