his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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