id be glad to
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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