I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
