____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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