we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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