$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet