..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
