Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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