I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
