she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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