Rock
Scissors
Fuck
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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