he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
