New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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