so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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