walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
