So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
