I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
