Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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